Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
