end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
