no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
