Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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