So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
