I'm really into asian looking animals
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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