Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
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