we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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