Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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