Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
