in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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