Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
