I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
