You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
