Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize