Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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