Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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