I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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