Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
