It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
