He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize