Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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