Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
