There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
