Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
