Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
