12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
