I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
