I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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