I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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