my sisters under your porch take her home
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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