sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
