before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
