Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
