I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
