would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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