yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
