So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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