i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize