I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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