Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
