Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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