i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
