who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
