Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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