I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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