dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
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she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.