Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.

Fav 4 2420 837
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.

Fav 8 4645 880
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

Fav 20 1576 4730
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

Fav 56 10354 1285
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(954): View more from Florida

It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

Fav 15 4718 1689
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.

Fav 5 3934 1094
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.

Fav 3 2294 1301
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror

Fav 4 477 841
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(912): View more from Georgia

No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.

Fav 2 185 73
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT