dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
