oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
