I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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