I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
