can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
