remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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