Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
