You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
