my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
