We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
