My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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