Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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