He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
