she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
