Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize