I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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