Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
