omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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