so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
