Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
