i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
