I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
